|Autaia Pipipi Pia|
|Main setting:||New Zealand, December 1980|
|Printed in:||Short Trips: Christmas Around the World|
|Short Trips short stories|
|Dateline to Deadline||No Room|
As Sarah shops in one of the local stores, she notices other shoppers acting suspicious of each other. She asks someone in line what's wrong, and she is informed that there are no turkeys available. Anywhere.
When a tannoy voice announces the arrival of a small consignment of turkeys, there is a mad rush in which Sarah gets caught up. Suddenly, turkeys, shoppers and Sarah are pulled into the sky.
The Doctor, while shopping, realises there is a Hazoodian spaceship orbiting Earth. He goes to the store in which Sarah was shopping — there is a hole in the roof and Sarah's winter coat is on the floor.
Sarah and the shoppers find themselves in a slightly sloping room, along with the turkeys. A hole opens up at the low end, and the turkeys are pulled into the hole. One woman, however, refuses to let go of a turkey and is dragged through the hole as well. Sarah realises that someone is cooking the turkeys (and the woman). She expects the Doctor to arrive soon to rescue her.
After a short time, the hole opens again and drags a man down through it. Sarah and a few others try to stop him, but they are fighting against some kind of invisible force.
The Doctor boards the ship and encounters the chief brewer, who has found some new ingredients for the Gathering Ale: turkeys and humans. The Doctor tries to talk him out of using humans, informing him that they are sentient. The brewer, drunk on his own ale, passes out, and the Doctor fiddles with the controls of the vat. Another Hazoodian arrives and takes him to the captain.
When the Doctor can't convince the captain and his fellow drinkers to stop using humans in their ale, he tells them that he adjusted the controls of the vat and now their ale is full of bacteria. He rescues Sarah and the shoppers (who have blocked the hole with shopping trolleys and are ready to fight) and sends the Hazoodians on their way.
- "O Little Town of Bethlehem", "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", "The Holly and the Ivy" and "Good King Wenceslas" are sung. Sarah hopes no one will sing "Nearer My God to Thee".
- Sarah tries to buy flour and sugar. The Doctor buys dried fruit, glacé cherries, nuts and marzipan.
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