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|Main character(s):||Iris Wildthyme|
|Main setting:||Earth, Iapetus; August 2015|
|Printed in:||Iris: Fifteen|
|Project Wildthyme||The Wildthyme Effect|
The date is 15 August 2015 and Iris Wildthyme is in the headquarters of the Ministry for Alien Incursions and Ontological Wonders. A senior officer is outraged at something that Iris just offered to a group of bloodthirsty aliens via radio. Iris slaps the man and says that what she did will save the Earth from the aliens. They receive a broadcast from the aliens that says that they accept Iris' offer of a gathering on Saturn's moon.
Two days earlier, Iris is playing a game of multidimensional poker against some bloodthirsty aliens. She loses, and the price for losing is death. To save her skin, Iris makes a bet with the aliens: in two days time she'll throw them a party with mountains of alcohol and she'll make MIAOW pay for it. The gamblers take the bet because they all hate MIAOW and Iris creates a recording that she tells them to transmit the next day. She then hops into her bus sets course for MIAOW headquarters.
- The MIAOW senior officer compares MIAOW's communications technology to a broken commodore 64.
- Iris' birthday is 16 August.
- This story spells Iapetus with an I at the beginning. Most DWU stories spell it Japetus. (PROSE: Legacy, So vile a Sin)